Now, I'm the first person to say that failure shouldn't be rewarded, I'm also of the opinion that when you sack someone they should get as little from the company as possible, because after all you're sacking them for a reason! But odious as it may be to those who feel that anything over 20k is a huge amount of money, Fred the Shreds pension plan isn't all that unreasonable when compared to over CEOs, and let's make absolutely no bones about it – If the Government change the law to raid his private pension, they'll be able to use it to raid anyone's pension fund. We all know how 'seriously' Brown took private pensions when he trashed them in the last few years of the 20th century, don't let anyone fool you with this petty class and money politics that stealing the ex-RBS chairmans pension is anything less than a step toward facism. The law should not be used against people in this way. Ever.

I'm almost too depressed to blog about politics at the moment, the current situation looks like it's lurching toward what we all feared as a worst case scenario; that being Brown staying in power until the the most bitter of ends. He and his cronies have done absolutely nothing but panic the markets spinning out expensive nonsense while actually spending more time fighting disent within their own party. The Labour party is spinning into oblivion as the sparkly nu-labour types fight for little more than their expenses and perks knowing that they've got another 12 months of piss-taking before they're going to be booted out at the next election; and at the opposite end of the scale the hard left of the party who never reformed seem to be gleefully rubbing their hands together at the opportunity to launch a scorched earth campaign on Britain, devestating the economy with poor choices and inaction so as to push through some Soviet style laws that'll hold back the recovery of our ecomony for years to come.

People have been calling for bankers to be called to book, it'd be nice to see the political class also brought to book, unfortunately it's not going to happen until the next election, but when it does let's hope that not only do they get booted out in a landslide, but also that the powers that be step in to open up the books, dig around for the bodies and make sure that those that stood by fiddling their expenses while the economy was going tits up get locked up for a long time. </rant>

We have 'Extreme' Weather today, which for the uninitiated in Britain is a couple of cm of snow, and yes, once again it's chaos, no buses, no tubes, no trains, motorways and a-roads closed and people being told to stay at home or risk freezing to death after they break down. We really are pathetic, yes we don't get it often, but it's not like we never get snow – people should at least be half prepared for it; and let's face it – with climate change making it's mark on the world, Britain's not going to get warmer, we're going to get colder as the gulf stream slows down, so now's a better time than ever to learn how to deal with it.

Lonodn without Buses

Of course what's most interesting about Today's snow is the complete closure of the London bus network – I can't remember the last time it was entirely closed, even with industrial action, it's quite spooky looking at roads devoid of the familiar red bus.

It's amusing, and at the same time scandalous, that Brown is set to impose a 3 line whip today with MP's potentially facing sanctions if they break ranks against plans to obfuscate MP's expenses at exactly the same time the government are asking, nay – demanding, businesses be transparent; it's also further proof, if any were needed, that despite claims that Labour's on the side of the hard working that they've got their noses stuffed in the trough deeper than anyone else.

MP's expenses should be public, it's outrageous that some are claiming that it would cost hundreds of thousands of pounds to collate and scan receipts for instance, you try telling HMRC that when you do your tax return and they'll send someone around to inspect you personally! MP's that vote for this dirty new piece of legislation designed to hide what they're doing with our taxpayers money should hang their heads in shame, one rule for the rulers, another for the people. It's disgusting

Very glad to see Alan Duncan working hard in his new post with the party leadership to ensure the conservatives vote against this abuse of power, personally I'd welcome the leadership booting out any MP that refused to publish their expenses or indeed backing any grubby law that makes it easier for MP's of any party to hide what they're spend our money on: we need transparent politics and transparent politicians now more than ever, the hypocrisy of one rule for us has to stop to build trust with the people of this country that's been so thoroughly trashed over the last few years.

UPDATE Brown has backed down, according to breaking news sources – expect MP's expenses to be published 'within weeks'.

Gordon Brown's Fucked Britain

Well the markets have been all over the place and so is the Government: I'm genuinely depressed after watching the farce that was the Chancellors statement to the house earlier this afternoon, He clearly has no idea what he's talking about – lines were being fed in that were overtly party political (the very last thing that's needed right now), and frankly the understanding of economics was clearly missing from the statement, it was panicked and short on detail at a time when the incumbent muppets are proposing lumbering the british taxpayer with a crippling amount of debt that will, frankly, bankrupt us all.

I'm incandescent at Brown for his assertion that he's "angry" with a few bankers when it was his Government as Chancellor that encouraged banks to lend, lend and lend – and what's more he still is, and it was him that oversaw the FSA's toothless last decade, and it was him let's not forget that has swung like a pendulum over the last few months one week telling the public and banks one thing, while the next week telling them the bi-polar opposite.

We've got to admit that the banks are not going to lend, moreover we've got to admit that whatever we do now we're going into a recession that's going to clear out the dead and weak wood, both in business and in our personal finances; and someone needs to point the finger at Brown and his colleagues for destablising the UK market all by themselves, with half arsed attempts to meddle in businesses and marketplaces in which they have no experience.

Musical chairs this morning at CCHQ as Cameron shuffled his team in what many are arguing to be the most significant change since he took the reigns at the last leadership election.

The big news is of course Ken Clarke, an interesting move but a solid one – he's a heavy hitter with a good grasp of the economy and an excellent style that'll hopefully be used to the party's advantage against the snake–tongue of the non–elected business secretary in these most difficult of times for businesses in the UK. Moving Therasa May to shadow work and pensions is a clever move that'll again use a solid parliamentarian to best effect, as is the move of Eric Pickles to chair. Others (Iain, Guido, ConHome and more) have covered the reshuffle in more detail, so I'm not going to go into any real detail other than to say I'm satisfied that we're seeing positive action on the front benches.

Of course there are things that still need to be done, but I think they are more organisational than people orientated – it's clear that CCHQ still needs better news monitoring and quicker reaction from appropriate shadow's to introduce all of the faces to the public, but with Eric Pickles' taking the chair I can't help but think that these back office reforms will be swiftly implemented.

Well it's been a busy couple of days in Westminster, we've had the frankly ludicrous assertion from Lady Vadera that we're already seeing the green shoots of recovery from recession – announced ironically on, yet another, day of massive job cuts and announcements of long established firms falling into receivership, we've had the Ball's up say that the 'excuses culture' won't be tolerated anymore, presumably meaning that Schools and Academies will now follow the nulabour model of not apologising at all and then blaming the yanks, and we've had the contemptible attempts to hide expenses from the public by MPs with the week ending on the lunatic idea of creating a super–bad–bank from deep in the Brown bunker, presumably part of his plan to leave scorched earth when the voters kick him out.

And of course we've also the Heathrow decision, which has seen everything from Emma Thompson and Alistair McGowen threatening to go all swampy on us, to Labour MP John McDonnell running off with the parliamentary mace in protest at the lack of a vote in the house.

Heathrow is a funny one, I can see the economic arguments for better connectivity with the rest of the world – but, expanding Heathrow, as far as I see it at least, is entirely the wrong way of doing it. If we had joined up thinking we'd be looking at London's airports as one large entity, joining up Stanstead, Luton, Heathrow and Gatwick with high speed transit which would allow them to operate as a proper hub, removing the need to expand Heathrow when Stanstead is the most obvious airport to expand in the coming 15 years.

But even before we think of expansion, the most clear way of clearing landing space at Heathrow would be to cut internal flights, it is outrageous that over 80 flights a day go between Birmingham and London, these journeys should be made on our railways, infrastructure that's desperately needed money ploughed into it for years; and as for flights to and from Paris... for crying out loud we built the longest under–sea tunnel in the world to link us to Paris – people should be using Eurostar, it's quicker (taking into account stacking and check-in/out times) than flying and it's considerably more friendly to the world; just doing that would free up a tonne of landing slots, something the government could do quickly and effectively, but of course won't do – because it's fixated with air travel in an entirely unhealthy way.

What's most concerning to me is the complete lack of attention given to the environment and public health which would seem to have been entirely ignored in the Government's consideration of the Heathrow expansion; an expansion is going to almost double the number of flights stacked over the capital every year, it's estimated that living under the flight path already shaves 6 years off the average life, what will a doubling in flights do? And while we're on that doubling of flights when are Londoner's going to sleep – I know they've conceded that 'mixed' operation (i.e 24 hour landings) won't happen, but how long will that promise be kept, if at all? In the centre of town the stack releases a stream of traffic over Kensington & Chelsea at about 5 in the morning, and it does affect people's sleep patterns, having also lived in Hanwell many years ago, the rumble was even more noticeable, god only knows what it must be like in Hounslow.

They've scored a massive own goal here if they think this is going to be a popular scheme, it's the easiest option for them – it didn't require joined up thinking, and it provides Brown with 60,000 jobs he can claim to have created out of thin air. I urge you to do whatever you can to protest against the expansion, not just in it's physical form, but also at the contempt that the Government have shown for our democratic process, the London assembly seems united against it, most Londoner's I know are cautious to completely opposed, and in an age where air travel is going to have to be thought long and hard about as we attempt to tackle climate change it is quite simply unbelievable that Labour have pushed this through with two fingers up to anyone that disagrees.

I do hope this battle is a long and sticky one, even more I hope it's a final shot of poison to the Government that finishes their long-running electoral suicide.

Nice to see that Cameron is spot on with his comments this morning about wanting 'to shake the prime minister' about the 'terrifying' debt crisis that we're currently plunging into – he's really not the only one. It's also good to see the message of alternative policies coming forward: saving money, not borrowing, support for businesses through tax breaks and deferments; his speech later today will be worth watching.

It's been doing the rounds on blogs and message boards for the best part of a year now, but there's an article here that looks at some of the PM's most recent delusions, including the howler that he saw the whole crash coming and pleaded with other world leaders to do something about it... there's a difference between seeing it coming and knowing that one day you'll just be found out you know!

So the PM has finally divulged today that it's likely the recession we're entering is going to be deeper and longer than first admitted. This of course is no real surprise for anyone who's lived in the real world, but seems to have taken the Labour party entirely "by surprise", I say that in inverted commas because even I can't believe that all of the Labour party are simple enough to believe the rhetoric that "it wos the yankie bankers wot done it".

Our dear leader. Gordo the great – saviour of the universe, as he apparently now has stamped on his stationary, also set out a raft of further measures to keep the country from sinking, these are – of course – further testament to his complete failure to grasp even the basics of today's global economy; as his new measures are all tax-payer funded public projects with no cuts or perks for the business on the high street and no real measures to help the average family, just more "great" public works, which include, laughably... fixing the trains, something they promised to do over 11 years ago, presumably, they'll be fixing them so all those extra people can commute into all those jobs that have just been cut in the city. Bright idea tonto. This is of course all defended with spin that the government "must play its role", which, as the conservatives pointed out earlier is pointless headline grabbing.

I am amazed at the tunnel vision that seems to have enveloped the incumbent muppets; they truly believe that the answer to a crisis caused by a complete seizure of global borrowing due to worries about over-extension of credit – is borrowing!

It quite simply defies belief that a Government that has borrowed more money than any other thinks that it can simply print more money at a time like this to spend it's way out of a borrowing induced financial crisis, surely someone must do something to illustrate that we're going to be paying for this mistake, not just for the whole my generation, but probably for the whole of the next as well?

I've no doubt the good times will once again roll – most likely under a Conservative government; but there's no question that those good times will be a long time coming, and when they do they'll be tinged with the hangover of 11 years of utterly reckless, and in the most part, entirely pointless spending by an out of control Labour Government.

There is an excellent article in Today's Observer arguing that the Conservatives are offering far more radical ideas for the future of Britain than many would give them credit for, and that the next few months will see Cameron, and to some extent Brown, being given an opportunity to reshape the political landscape.

One: The recession will be worse than most people have so far admitted, companies both small and large will struggle – those reliant on borrowing for cashflow are doomed.

Two: ITN won't bring back the jobless count, much to the general annoyance of every person wanting to pin the destruction of the economy on the muppets in government.

Three: Mandelson will resign or be fired, again, for some reason – I'd start a sweepy, but i think it might end in a writ.

Four: Brown won't call an election, probably the safest prediction, I'm afraid we're stuck with him for another year.

Five: They will find someone else to blame the economy on, if not the American's it'll be some other poor sod.

Six: There'll be a shadow cabinet reshuffle, seats for Davis and Clarke possibly?

Seven: House prices will continue to fall, probably knocking off a good 15% off today's values, this won't help the market recover just yet though, as the banks still won't lend to first time buyers.

Eight: The nationalised and part nationalised banks will continue to embarrass the government in ways they haven't yet imagined.

Nine: Tight Labour party finances will see a resurgence of Unions setting the political agenda, expect to see the minimum wage go up crucifying businesses.

Ten: To add to the woes of major retailers going bust I'm expecting Ad revenues to kill off at least one newspaper.

Well that's it – 2008 is almost over; and what a year it's been... OK, so the economy is, well, screwed, and house prices have fallen through the floor (oh well, can't say my heart bleeds), politics have crackled and we've seen more than one, but hopefully the last, dead cat bounce. I'm looking forward to 2009: I think it's going to be a blinder. Whatever you're up to this evening enjoy yourself, play safe, and let's all raise a glass to a peaceful and prosperous New Year, Cheers!

I'd just like to wish everyone that visits a very Merry Christmas, let's hope Father Christmas brings all the things you've wanted.

Great article Today's Times by Daniel Finklestein who discusses why people on the left should think twice before merrily celebrating the failure of capitalism, when the real causes of failure are much closer to home than the left may wish to admit.

Brown's at it again, first the car companies wouldn't get a penny, now, in an all too familiar u-turn, he's considering bailing out Jaguar Land Rover, a decision that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever: Woolworth's, a British PLC which employed over 30,000 people – all of whom are now unemployed – was allowed to go to the wall, but Jaguar, an Indian owned company that employs half that number of people is now almost certain to be bailed out, not by the Indians, but by the British taxpayer?!

The logic behind this decision is absolutely ludicrous, we're supporting "British" industry is the line Brown and Auntie are putting out, but that's simply not true. All we're doing is saving a heavily unionised workforce in an industry that modern day Britain doesn't actually need.

Despite some successes in manufacturing, the brutal truth is that the last 30 years have seen Britain become a service economy, IP is what modern Britain exports, our thinking businesses are world leaders – and yet do they get even the tiniest concession from government? Do they hell – and why? Because those industries are not pre-programmed to be self destructive, they're not unionised, they're wealth creating and most importantly of course they're not in traditional labour heartland's, put simply they're industries that the automatons in government and the civil service simply don't understand.

The sooner Brown and his ministers for industry and the treasury wise up to the idea that traditional heavy manufacturing in the UK for mass produced standardised products is dead, the better. Our manufacturing is based in precision industries and the real money is in services: that is the way the global economy has turned, and it really doesn't matter what Brown might think, he and his cronies cannot sit like King Canute on the shores trying to stop the tide of change, manufacturing in the UK cannot be saved by Government money, full stop, period, argument over.

Two words that should be remembered by Brown – British Leyland. An unmitigated and expensive disaster funded entirely by the poor British taxpayer; if we bury our heads in the sand now bailing out foreign companies simply to save jobs in key constituencies, we're going to be saddling the next generation, my generation with a level of public debt that'll strangle the economy and free enterprise in the UK for the next half century, that will be the legacy of this Labour government and our useless excuse for a Prime Minister.

Speaking of the unions, there's an excellent article in Today's Times from Alice Miles talking about the rise of the gold plated public sector job that's crippling our economy and is going to burden my generation with a bill that could reach £1 Trillion; and while we're going to 'retire' at 75 to virtually no state pension, we're going to spend our entire working lives supporting a generation that retired at 60 on cushy final salary pensions.

Amongst other things that the next government will have to fix including our broken economy, damaged civil liberties, lack of housing, poor public transport, spiralling public debt yadda yadda... one of the priorities must be to reform labour laws, the 21st century economy and the unions are at odds, the unions with powers given back to them under new labour's reign have become increasingly blasé about what they stand for, some militant unions have side stepped the democracy of the vote for staged votes designed to promote dangerous stand-off's between the establishment, private industry and themselves in a way that almost always guarantees their success.

The last ten years have seen unions, pushing political agendas, demanding ludicrous increases and forcing un-competitive working conditions on organisations both public and private: and they've done this by blatantly ignoring their members, their own regulations and, in some cases, the law. Of course this doesn't apply to every union, many are thoroughly respectable organisations which are dedicated to protecting the rights of their members and the wider working world, but it cannot be denied that many of our essential services are not represented by democratic union bodies, and this is damaging employee relationships, damaging business, and damaging the wider economy of the UK.

It would seem nowadays that arbitration, something that should be brought in at the earliest possibility when agreement cannot be amicably reached, is now a last resort rather than an early fire break, and action and grievances are most often brought to the table at times when the potential, and almost always inevitable, action will be most crippling; the unions of course say that this is coincidence, and a failure of their respective opponents, but whether it be bank holiday weekends, new years eve, christmas, or the school holidays, the result is always the same, the same unions time and time again up the ante and force positions on services both public and private where the only option left is to surrender to outlandish demands or suffer the public's wrath for the ensuing chaos that strike action causes.

Some people advocate banning unions' altogether, I don't: I can't see how banning a work force from it's democratic voice is compatible with social conservatism, but I do believe that reform of employment and union law is key in the coming parliament so as to redress the balance of power that has been so damaged by the incumbent bankrupt union supported Labour party so going into the second decade of this century the pendulum swings back in favour of the needs of the many rather than to militant niche groups. To this end I'm advocating that the next government form a union's charter, a set of play-fair rules that democratises the union process and that prevents the all to familiar 'end game' stand-off's that have become so familiar at any time of the year when a union realises they can cause maximum damage with minimum effort for maximum reward.

Some ideas for a unions charter might include:

1) Arbitration being moved to immediately once agreement between union and company cannot be reached without notice of strike action being made public by either party, this removes the public relations aspect of many disputes that causes fear of disruption with the wider public to further negotiations or strengthen the position of either party.

2) Arbitration should have a time limit applied to it before strike action can be considered, this should be at least 2 working weeks of face to face negotiations, not as is often the case today unions storming in and out of arbitration whenever they feel their point of view isn't being listened to.

3) Strike action that specifically sets out to cause maximum damage to the organisation (whether that be through maximising financial loss, inability to function or inconvenience to the customer or general public) should be banned. The withdrawal of labour should be used as a negotiation tool, not as a weapon.

4) Any arbiter should be appointed by the organisation and the union, that arbiter will be considered entirely independent. The arbiter should be given a legal right to decide to postpone arbitration for a maximum of 6 weeks. This has many benefits, it acts as a cooling-off period to avoid pressure cooker negotiations, it also would allow the arbiter to independently assess if any potential strike action is being specifically planned to cause specific damage and if so postpone arbitration and rule out strike action that would break the terms of clause three.

5) If, and only after initial arbitration has failed should strike action be proposed to the union members and announced to the general public.

6) It should be a requirement that, should strike action be proposed, unions ballet all members, not just selective groups for strike action. Any vote should return at least half of the papers sent out to be considered valid and of that return a proposal to withdraw labour should only be passed if over half of the returned papers advocate such action.

7) Any vote should be considered a legally binding proposal from the membership to the union executive, and it should be the case that the executive hold no power to authorise legal strike action without a defined member vote.

8) Remove any options for unions calling for industrial action in support of other unions.

9) Employers, whether it be public or private should have the rights to instantly dismiss without compensation any employee that breaks with these terms.

As we enter what appears to be a deep recession with a looming bombshell of pensions to pay for in future generations, the ability for unions and public and private organisations to effectively and fairly communicate and negotiate is becoming an issue that needs to be resolved – and I can't help but feel that an equalisation of power between union and organisation, not to mention these two sparing partners and the wider public, is much needed.

Helene Clock

I did promise myself that I wouldn't blog about the apprentice, but the damn thing has got the better of me! We're now down to the final five, and what a motley bunch they are; two wet rags, and a couple of feisty ones and at least one who seems, despite the editing and odd choice of head wear, almost employable.

I'm really not keen on the remaining boys, Lee seems harmless enough, albeit in a big shouty vectra driving rep way, but he's hardly top flight executive material is he? And the less said about Alex the better, lord preserve us, he really is just wet: in his head he may well be a great salesmen, unfortunately in reality he's a whiny northerner who's shirked responsibility so often it's a shame that his name doesn't rhyme with Teflon as it's clear he should have been booted right at the start.

The girls are an interesting bunch; Helene bless her seems out of her league, I'd agree with the assessment that she's probably not going to fit in having come from such a large corporate background, the ethos is so different it'd be a rough transition at best. Claire I like, despite being a gob on a stick she's clearly got not only got the nose for a sale, but an all round ability to apply herself, I like that; and it's much the same with Lucinda, who's taken a beating week after week for being 'wet', something which I'd disagree with: she's the only one out of the whole bunch who clearly knows her limits, you can't be a master of all trades, and she seems to recognise this.

It's a real shame the apprentice hasn't matured, there is no real focus on finding all round good business people, it's salesmen, deal closer's and shouty types that seem to be promoted in this program, and that doesn't actually mirror the real 'executive' level of world business, where delegation, research, tact and an understanding of when to shut one's mouth are equally important to closing the deal.

My money's on Claire to win, although I have an awful feeling Alex might sneak through if he's not booted at the interview stage for being a vacuous waste of skin, personally if it were my business I'd choose Lucinda any day, closely followed by Claire, the rest... well let's just say their CV's might end up filed in the wheelie bin.

What a night! As we watched the result pile up in Crewe & Nantwich it was pretty much expected that it would be a poor night for Labour, but in an area that's been as loyal to Labour over the years as Crewe, and with the strength of a known name, albeit the daughter of, there was the possibility that a sympathy groundswell might rock the boat.

By god, the boat rocked - fortunately to the tune of common sense as the good people of Crewe & Nantwich took their votes and voted for a better future, leaving the incompetence and cronyism of the 'new' labour project floundering in their wake; so what was the tipping point? Well listening to the people voting it's clear that this wasn't just a protest vote, this was a multi-faceted vote of utter disillusionment, people are clearly fed up with Brown (personally), New Labour (generally) and had real concerns about swingeing tax rises, the 10p debacle, the hyper-speed acceleration of living costs and the general feeling that the country is not performing the way it should; everyone has an opinion, whether it's crime, hospitals, MRSA, the NHS, the CSA, immigration, human rights, CCTV, they're all things that people genuinely believe to be problems that this government has a direct hand in, and they're really fed up.

Of course, throughout the night and indeed this morning various figures have popped up all over the media reminding us that it's a mid-term wobble, it's only a protest vote, and that Thatcher lost by-elections and still won, but the bitter tang of panic is clear – spin it how you like – last night they lost, and they lost big time, the people of Crewe & Nantwich could have easily gifted a big win to the Lib Dems candidate (ex-candidate as the poor dear's wiki entry is up for speedy deletion!), but they didn't - these people weren't protesting, they were voting for real change.

So where does it leave us? Well unfortunately not at an immediate general election, but with the unpleasant thought of at least another year and a bit of Broon's 'car crash in slow motion' style of government, rumour is rife of a leadership challenge, but it does seem unlikely, not only would someone have to garner 70 votes to challenge Brown, but they'd also need to field someone with a chance of actually winning... and that's unlikely; the heavyweight hitters are invariably linked with Blair, and would probably fair no better than Brown (although they'd perhaps do it with more charisma), so that leaves three options, field an unknown, field a loony or field a young candidate.

An unknown just wouldn't happen in the Labour party, it doesn't work like that; a loony is far more likely and could perhaps garner enough support to look serious with the party already dangerously sitting on a tipping point between a lurch to the left and a gentle slide towards being a 'new' labour opposition on a significantly reduced number of seats, and then finally the young candidate; all of whom seem to have the sense to see that they're better off keeping their heads down and saving what's left of their political careers in the short term.

It'll be interesting to watch from the sidelines to see if this flat spin is recoverable, I doubt it, but there will be ministers who will fight to the bitter end – perhaps not at their own advantage – to try to save what's left of Blair's vision for the new labour project. I'm of course delighted by all of this; a strong socially aware conservative party for the future is what I think we need, it's just a shame that we've got to wait through a damaging couple of years for the country before we're going to get one.

It's not often that a piece of comment on TV is delivered with such utter belief, gusto and passion: this is an amazing piece of television inspired by a spectacularly ill thought out interview given by President Bush to The Politico where Bush inferred that if a Democrat wins the presidency this November America may suffer another 9/11 and the frankly idiotic assertion that Bush shows solidarity with the families of dead and wounded service people by giving up Golf. It is 12 minutes long, but I urge you to watch the whole thing.

Having been fortunate enough to have spent a good deal of my formative years in continental Europe, there are some things about dining out in Europe that you come to take for granted. One is that the table will be brought ice cold fresh water in a bottomless jug as standard. Next, bread will be brought to the table and will most likely be topped up as courses arrive and depart, and third that a tip is recognised in most Restaurants not as an extra charge, but as a reward for a decent service throughout the evening.

So it's not surprising that dining out in the UK irks me so, because I've yet to find a venue that can get all three of these key areas right every time. Bread doesn't bother me as much because, frankly in the UK, bread is a lost cause - at the cheaper end of the market the bread won't be worth eating and once you've passed the £40 a head mark you normally only have to ask if it's not already provided.

Tipping and Water however are two totally different animals, and they are the things that are almost guaranteed to irritate me when eating out in the UK, and of those, water is always the first thing to raises my hackles in a restaurant. Now I'm a businessman, I've run enough businesses to understand the mark up and the important of linked sales, so I understand that it's important to get people into the booze as quickly as possible, but for crying out loud, at least start with a jug of ice water on the table!

In London I'm more than happy to just drink Thames water, chilled with a few cubes of ice chucked in, and maybe if I'm lucky a lime – I don't want to buy a bottle of water because frankly the green part of me balks at the idea of paying for water that's been hauled around by truck, bottled water often tastes insipid, and the expensive and pointless packaging leaves me agog, especially when we have some of the best tasting tap water available in Europe straight from the tap here in the capital.

So I'm always the first of the group to ask for a jug or pitcher of ice water, unfortunately I'm often left frothing at the mouth in rage when having asked for a jug of water all that's delivered (usually late) is a single tiny glass. Now this has become a bit of a joke between my friends and I, but it really does wind me up; and in one particularly group of restaurants I've started to make exaggerated 'Andrew Marr' like arm gestures to denote just-how-big-a-jug I'd actually like delivered to my table, to the extent that if they delivered to my specifications I'd be drinking from a water butt. Of course this is all to no avail as four out of the five times I'll still be left with my tiny glass (that they 'forget' to refill), and even then I'm lucky if that's delivered much before the first course is finished. It seems that restaurants in the UK fail to understand that a good proportion of diners would be more amenable (and in my case almost guaranteed) to buying a bottle, or indeed several bottles, of wine if the establishment delivers a jug of water without fuss or bother of having to ask for it – maybe if this message were tattooed somewhere on my forehead I might have more luck?

As if they want to add insult to injury having not delivered water or bread to the table without some huge fuss being made of it with shrugged shoulders and looks of amazement that anyone should want to drink water that's not fresh from a bottle, most establishments nowadays will automatically expect a tip, however dreadful the service may have been, and I dislike this approach for a multitude of reasons: first and foremost because of the lack of information about 'service charges' – I simply don't believe that service charges and tips go together, especially not when the restaurants are so cagey about explaining where the money goes, I take particular umbrage with the idea of paying the restaurant for the privilege of eating in it when the service charge doesn't go to the waiting staff directly, not to mention service charges being applied even when the service has been appalling all night; but that's just a mere irritation compared to what really rocks my boat when it comes to tipping: the one thing that is guaranteed to set me off like a veritable Catherine wheel in the middle of a restaurant is tip expectation, and I don't mean the smiley face on the bottom of the bill even after the service & food have been utterly lousy, no...

The thing that will set me off explosively is the bare-faced cheek of some London waiting staff who, on bringing you the card machine, place your card carefully in the bottom of the device and punch up the total into the handset before pressing the 'gratuity - yes' button just as they pass it to you to enter your pin. The sheer cheek of it is beyond reproach, and it'll always end in the manager being dragged kicking and screaming from the darkness to my table to explain, apologise and refund the entire drinks bill, and that's nothing in the scary restaurant patron stakes compared to my other half who I half suspect enjoys clipping his tones as he re-educates a manager in the intricacies of basic restaurant management.

So come on UK restauranteurs! It's not rocket science. Stop being so tight, start treating your customers with the respect they deserve, give them the complimentary items, serve them efficiently and bill them fairly and believe it or not they'll not only spend more, but they'll most likely return more, recommend you more and tip more.

Brown is ScrewedSo the cat has been let out of the bag, not that it wasn't already obvious, the "economic prudence" which ended the cycle of boom and bust has ended up in what's looking increasingly like a bust, as Caroline Flint carelessly left her files open to the prying lenses of the political paparazzi, showing the world just how worried they all are that we're heading for a 10% drop in house prices and potentially a corresponding slump in the rest of the economy.

This is, of course, especially bad news for Brown, who's entire reputation has been built on his financial 'genius' as if he didn't have enough to cope with at the moment worrying about the ten pence tax debacle, his chancellor frantically giving away money the government can't afford to lose, while all at once embarrassing Britain in the eyes of the liberal world by not inviting the Dali Lama to Downing St when even the knuckle dragger in the White House managed to keep his appointment with the Tibetan spiritual leader at the big house.

Add to this the stress of watching his back at all times from the press, the opposition, and his own (rightfully) livid backbenchers, but also from former colleagues and acquaintances in Blair (Mrs), Levy (Lord) and Prescott (Two Jags and a bucket of lard) all revealing semi-salacious memoirs of their time in and around Number 10, all of which don't paint a favourable picture of dear Gordon, he must be counting the days until he can quit this job.

It's been interesting watching the various media channels today, the tone has swung from quiet resignation to outraged and shocked in the announcement that the economy is probably screwed. I don't think anyone will be able to keep up outraged and shocked for too long, no matter how much damage they might wish to inflict on Brown, simply because anyone with half a brain has been able to see that you can't continue to inflate the countries economy with ultra-cheap credit propping up all retail and property spending, let alone the state spending that was coming out of coffers unknown, we've been in a bubble for some time; we can now only hope that the landing for most will be softer than predicted.

Photo borrowed for a spot of Tuesday afternoon photoshopping from The Times.

Graffiti saying: thanks to gordon brown i will never buy a house I've always thought that graffiti is one of the most telling yardsticks of general feeling, so it was with no surprise that I spotted this in The London Paper...

A solemn message from the baby-buster generation to Mr Brown (i'm not listening la la) and the wider world. it's not before time that my generation, who are currently lucky if they can rent something in central london for less than 300 quid a month, finally speak up about the broken property ladder in the capital...

Reading the cringeworthy extracts from Brian Paddick's mayoral race diary I was left wondering just where the Liberal party went so wrong, why in this permissive, integrated, socially accepting age are the party that should stand for what most of us aspire to wallowing in third place; and why are people who by all rights should think the Liberals are the place to be, instead following the Conservatives into the centre ground, and, as someone asked me only a few weeks ago: "Just why don't you vote Liberal Democrat?".

From my perspective it's a lack of real policy, don't get me wrong the Liberal's have some appealing ideas, a 4% cut in income tax would be nice, opposition to the war in Iraq from the start was commendable and their views on minimising state interference in your personal affairs hits my small government happy buttons every time, but what else do they offer? Where are the real killer policies, where are they clearly defined as the party that will make your life better or easier and your business more profitable?

Leader after leader of the Lib Dems have squandered the opportunities placed in front of them to reform the party, to bring in a party line where the most common adjective used in front of it isn't 'loony', for a party formed in 1988 they're dreadfully old fashioned bordering on plain stupid, they saw the fall of Thatcher's & Major's Governments, both riven with infighting and sleaze, they've watched the meteoric rise of the New Labour project as it blossomed into Blair's untouchable first term and then crumbled into dodgy dossiers, missing billions and finally dour Scotsmen, but it would appear they've learnt nothing.

After 1999 and Ashdown leaving they've has a series of leaders who have all been nice chaps, Kennedy, Campbell and Cable, but who didn't seem to bring direction to the party, Kennedy of course had Iraq and won protest votes because of his stance, but that wasn't going to be a lasting seat-winner and after the debacle of the alcoholism cover-up the party made the strangest decision in recent years by breaking with all convention and choosing an ageing leader at the very time that all the other parties were grooming young faces who seemed in touch with the wage-earning masses (in Cameron, Blair and to a lesser extent the next generation of the New Labour project in Milliband & Co.).

Campbell from the outset was unfairly mocked because of his apparent age, more often compared to Father Time than an effective leader, polling at less than 20% support from the party faithful his position was clearly untenable, despite admirable performances in the House he evidently didn't have what it took to lead the party forward.

And this is where the story goes from odd to just stupid, after an interesting tenure as stand-in leader with Vince Cable (who I still maintain is the man that put the first real nail in Brown's coffin) the Lib Dems decided that they're try a Blair & Cameron approach, but without the drive, speaking abilities or real charisma that both the aforementioned possess.

Nick Clegg, possibly the most nondescript party leader of any party in recent memory, a shadow of Cameron, out-manoeuvred at every move by a resurgent Conservative party firmly and fairly taking the centre-right's imagination with a new brand of socially just, liberal thinking conservatism. What's worse is until the near-election event the Conservatives were gaining this attention at the detriment of the Lib Dems while having little more than brand Cameron in their arsenal, there were no real policies just positioning of a party that would promote a greener, fairer, more competitive society led by a smaller government that didn't feel the need to interfere and legislate at every opportunity.

So while all this re-branding and re-positioning was going on, what were the Liberal's doing? Were they churning out solid policy documents and a manifesto for a better Britain? Were they looking at how they could seize the initiative and make it into official opposition? No - they were fannying about. Making a lot of noise, but nothing that could be considered even close to coherent. No grand plan, no vision for the future, just the same bunch of MPs who frankly wouldn't say boo to a goose, much like their ever dwindling bunch of remaining supporters...

I have a hearty belly laugh every time I hear a call from the stage at a Lib Dem conference to go back and prepare for Government, or even for official opposition, because there seems to be an almost autistic attitude toward the facts, they're third, and not just third, but some way behind in third, and as politics at their end of the chamber becomes increasingly fractious with smaller parties and one-issue independents stealing seats it's going to be them that take the real brunt of the seat losses long term, and that's a real shame, because not that long ago the Lib Dems looked like a party that was ahead of it's time, a party whose day would eventually come; the brutal truth is though, that the time has already passed: first Labour under Blair and since the Conservatives under Cameron realised that the power in this country sits firmly in the centre they both moved while the Lib Dems were still fighting like ferrets in a sack, and I fear that unless something spectacular is pulled out of the bag at the next election they'll lose seats as a resurgent Conservative party pull a landslide and the Labour heartland's react to pull the Labour party from the pit of oblivion into a demoralised official opposition.

But you know the really tragic thing about all this is, having said all of this I know in my heart of hearts that despite agreeing with the majority of their policies I'd never waste a vote on them, I don't think their leader is worth the skin he's inhabiting and I couldn't say that there's a shred of credibility to the latest set of party re-positioning policies that Clegg and his team have fired out. I very firmly believe that Cameron (with the help of Brown and his incompetent cronies) may have started put the final nails in the coffin of not just New Labour, but also the Lib Dems, as such robbing the political bystander of the fascinating spectacle of a liberally centered parliament, and of two parties that really do represent where England in the socially aware Conservative centre right having a libertarian Liberal Democrat party as an opposition - with the Labour party tearing itself apart looking for a foothold in third place.

We can but dream.

I write this at eight minutes past one on Saturday morning, having had very little sleep, and having spent most of the last 30 hours glued to election coverage (however silly it became... I'm looking at you Mr.Vine) and all I can say is wow.

The Conservatives have had a stunning revival, taking 65 councils and a total of 3156 seats nation wide as well as Boris Johnson having just been elected as Mayor of London, it's a truly incredible turnaround from the thorough kicking that the party has taken over the last 11 years of Labour power. Translated roughly these figures would give a landslide victory to the Conservatives with a majority that would allow them to immediately set to work on there manifesto from the get go.

Now let me be the first to admit that these gains should be tempered: the mood in the country at the moment is angry, the financial world is wobbling and to top it all Brown, a man who's fought, manipulated and moaned his way into power on the basis of being a deeply academic conviction politician has in the last few months looked like a clown both nationally and internationally, moving from disaster to re-focussing to disaster with the grace of an elephant in a china shop, entirely failing to woo the electorate he's claimed to be so on the side of for so long.

All that being said, the mood of the people, no matter how much of a kicking they might have wanted to give Labour, has fundamentally changed, they're not just wanting to punish the incumbent, the people are now actively looking to the future, to a Britain not run by a government that sees the state as always knowing best, to a Britain that rewards success and encourages people to be the best they can be, not one where we can't even use the word failure - you are instead deferring your success.

The gains for the Conservatives are warmly welcomed by people like me because it's a serious step in the right direction toward a country that encourages entrepreneurial spirit, ambition and brave thought, but that's not all. These gains should also be welcomed as they are the clearest sign yet that the New Labour project is in it's final death throws, and this is a good thing for two reasons: the first being that real social conservatism can be given an opportunity to thrive, the second being that while many of the things that Tony Blair changed were good things, Blair (despite the war) did many great things as leader of 'new' labour, but was always held back in his abilities to change things by the hard left of his party, so it's good to see that with new labour now dying those politicians that want social awareness, economic stability and a drive for greater responsibility for the individual have a place to go in the reborn Conservative party, while those who still pine for the socialist utopia pandered by Labour's hard left will finally be able to throw off the shackles of spun party lines and will, after 11 years of pretending to be Britain's only centre ground, finally scuttle as far left as they want towards predictable splits and utter un-electability.

David Cameron's Conservatives are clearly the party of the future, they are ready to start taking on the challenges of this socially and economically split country, the huge national deficit, the black holes in the woefully inadaquately planned public private partnerships that have concealed government borrowing for 11 years and finally to really make changes to the lives of the populous at large, who are not quite sure anymore why they're being penalised for just living their lives by petty un-elected bureaucrats who feel entitled to meddle in every aspect of your average citizens' life. A new, leaner, more accountable, more open form of government is heading our way; and I just cannot wait for that next election.

the next bbc colour change perhaps?

 

In light of last night's thorough mauling in the Polls maybe it's time the BBC have a redesign, after all, they seemed extremely keen to do so in 1997!

It looks rather nice, even if I do say so myself.

- the next bbc colour change perhaps? (large version)

It certainly has been a hell of a night for the Conservatives so far, they're clearly communicating a message of positive change to the electorate as the feedback people seem to be giving is they're not punishing labour, they've simply (and finally) had enough of them and see the other parties, and especially Cameron's team as being where Britain needs to be going

I do love a good mash-up, and here's one of the most recent ones that made me chuckle.

Let's face it, safety has never been sexy, it's never been the thing that makes the ad-man in you quiver when the client announces 'safety' being their key message. Until now that is, absolutely stunning advert demonstrating the safety of the entire renault range - a dull subject at the best of times - beautifully crafted and expertly executed; enjoy...